tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2987958311213810613.post2709607948609272891..comments2024-02-09T11:51:09.364-05:00Comments on On Loan From Heaven: Guest Post- Surprise InfertilityUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2987958311213810613.post-6241650010293418012012-12-01T19:28:33.049-05:002012-12-01T19:28:33.049-05:00Anonymous,
My heart resonates with you feeling as...Anonymous,<br /><br />My heart resonates with you feeling as if there is no 'right' time to bring this kind of thing up to your family, especially depending on the type of family you have. Some families are close, some families are pleasant on the surface, and some families hardly talk. <br /><br />I gather you are somewhat close to your family, since you do seem to have a desire to talk about this- you are more so just struggling with the 'when' you bring it up, not the 'if' you bring it up.<br /><br />To answer your first question, yes, we have discussed a handful of times when we will bring this up to my family, how 'in detail' we will go, and all that goes along with that. However, no, we have not made a decision as to when that is. I think since we have not made it a full year in the 'trying' process, that is a subconscious goal of mine to reach - no specific reason really, just kind of sounds 'textbook' appropriate? If that makes sense...<br /><br />I am a pretty easy read with my emotions, so my family knows how much I ADORE babies, and so because of that they are constantly asking "why aren't you working on another one?" or "when are you going to give _____ a little sibling?". In those moments, I really have to remember to offer grace, because they really just do not know the context, and so I can't hold anger or bitterness towards them, I can only offer some quick remark in some sort of playful way, to take the attention off me and on to a laugh. <br /><br />I know the time will come when I feel like I want to be more vulnerable, but personally I am not ready for that, I guess - as dumb as this may sound - the more people I speak to about it, the more it becomes a reality that there is an 'issue' that I can't control. I'm also a bit of a control freak :)<br /><br />So, while that is not necessarily a healthy mindset...avoiding bringing it up to protect my heart... it is where I am honestly at.<br /><br />I talk to people that I feel will only bring encouragement my way, and right now, that isn't necessarily every member of my family, because you know how families are ;) they have their own opinions/suggestions/solutions for everything. :)<br /><br />I think I have kind of rambled and danced around both of your questions, and hopefully I gave you somewhat of an answer. <br /><br />Mainly, I hope you know how much the Lord will listen to your pain, frustration, irritation, and confusion - when you feel like you are ready for the family to know, it will be beneficial to you to have spoken about it intensely with the Lord first, because He will guide your heart and emotions to make you ready for that moment. <br /><br />Maybe take sometime to pray, or journal if you aren't a outloud prayer, and kind of petition the Lord with your thoughts, go ahead and get a lot of the emotion out that you expect to face when you talk to your family: ask God how to deal with anger if your family is 'angry' at you for holding a 'secret' (which, for the record, I will be praying that they offer grace and understanding...infertility is anything but a 'secret' it is a painful and personal issue, so I pray for maturity for whoevers ears the news will fall on)... ask God to reveal the right opportunity for a non-awkward conversation... tell God what's bugging the crap out of you. Just get your thoughts out. Then do it again. Then do it again. If you can flesh out your thoughts before your in the moment of bringing it up, you will likely handle the situation with a more ready heart and a clear mind.<br /><br />My heart goes out to you,<br />RMAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2987958311213810613.post-90065904558594661132012-11-29T23:29:47.936-05:002012-11-29T23:29:47.936-05:00Thank you!
My husband and i are in the same boat,...Thank you!<br /><br />My husband and i are in the same boat, RMA and we've kept our struggle to have our second baby a secret for almost a year. No one knows except one of my closest friends. I feel like such a liar and a fake by keeping it from my family and friends but no time feels like the right time to talk about it. And then when we do finally talk about it, I wonder if people will be angry with us for keeping it a secret for so long? <br /><br />I'm wondering if you and your husband have discussed when the right time will be to finally talk about this new infertility? Is there a specific point when you think you'll 'know' you should say something?<br /><br />Lindsay~ You mentioned in a post a long long time ago that one of your biggest regrets is not telling your friends and family sooner when you and Joey were trying to get pregnant the first time because you missed out on a lot of support and prayer. I feel like I'm missing that and need it but how did YOU guys finally decide to stop keeping your secret?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2987958311213810613.post-28979140444649511532012-11-28T20:47:07.646-05:002012-11-28T20:47:07.646-05:00I'd be more than happy to ask her for you! Fee...I'd be more than happy to ask her for you! Feel free to email me or leave a comment and I'll post her response :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15387592524234453591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2987958311213810613.post-36518152588717509542012-11-28T19:26:04.022-05:002012-11-28T19:26:04.022-05:00Is there any way I can ask RMA a question? I know ...Is there any way I can ask RMA a question? I know she wants to be anonymous but maybe you could ask her a question for me?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2987958311213810613.post-61726702874380619112012-11-28T13:19:22.442-05:002012-11-28T13:19:22.442-05:00This was such a great post. I love your basically,...This was such a great post. I love your basically, poem, about hope at the end. And I found it really helpful to read that no matter what - your kids are from the Lord, even if they're not from your own body. Your post helped me & ministered to me today. I cut and pasted some of it into a file to read through when I need to. I actually started the file right now. So thank you for posting this. I'll share it with my twitter feed, too (addisoncooper)<br /><br />AddisonAddison Cooperhttp://www.adoptionlcsw.comnoreply@blogger.com