Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Donorsexuals- "You Got Your Sperm WHERE?!"

I stepped out to get the mail today.....

I mean, I don't read Newsweek... actually, no one in my house does so I'm not really sure why we get it. Hmmm...

Anyway, how could I NOT read this article when it's title was screaming at me.....

In short, the article details the life of a sperm donor; the reasons why men donate sperm, who they donate to, and how. I guess there are many many websites out there that make forums, of sorts for people who would like to find a donor on their own, as opposed to finding one through an agency, etc. I have to admit, I found the article interesting..... creepy, but interesting.

Here's what I learned;

* You can get pregnant through a donor one of two ways; through AI (Artificial Insemination) or NI (Natural Insemination.... or sex).

 Now really, I'm a pro at understanding AI (we've done it a few times in the past) but what I know to be AI (like, in a doctor's office) is very, very different than what the article describes; injecting sperm into the vagina (yes, like in The Switch with Jennifer Aniston... turkey baster, anyone?) or placing it in a cup that is inserted into the vagina and attaches to the cervix.

* What creeped me out is not really HOW these people insert the sperm but WHERE....

"... so the venues at which they met their donor had a saucy impromptu feel; a hotel, the back  of the couple's SUV, a camper trailer, a Starbucks bathroom."

Coffee, anyone?

~ Now, i've never asked my parents where I was conceived but I'm pretty sure they'd tell me if I asked them... we're just kind of like that. (For the record, I don't plan to ask them...) BUT, what would the conversation between a child who was conceived this way and his/her parents sound like?


* 'Donors' are calling themselves 'donorsexuals' and some even claim to be virgins, though they've 'donated' over 50 times and have many children through this process.

* The majority of men 'donate' their sperm in order to spread their genes and having as many kids as possible...

* Many 'donors' are married. (I do find it interesting that the article fails to mention whether or not the wives of these 'donors' know that they are, in fact donors.)

(If you'd like to read the article, click here. It really is interesting ;-))

So... I'm completely interested in knowing your thoughts on this; on 'donorsexuals' and the women/couples who find them and on the lives of their kids, should they conceive.

~ What are the implications for these kids when they grow up and find out that they were conceived this way? Is there a difference between getting pregnant through IVF, IUI, or a donor through IVF of IUI and the way this article describes? If so, why?

~Is it fair for these men to consider themselves 'virgins'?

~ If your husband/ partner expressed an interest in becoming a donor, how would you respond?

~ Will you EVER be able to walk into a Starbucks bathroom again?!

I'll go ahead and enable the judgement-free zone and the Cone of Safety so feel free to comment as Anonymous .... take advantage; that doesn't happen too often ;-)


  1. Before I adopted my babies I thought I would do anything to get pregnant. But now I have to say ,even I would have my limits!
    What worries me most is that these men are not being tested for STD's.
    And being a lawyers wife, I can't help to wonder with out proper paper work, what is keeping these woman from going after child support or the man after custody.

  2. I was thinking the same things!

    BUT, I was also considering the fact that these babies will have access (possibly) to their birth-fathers and sometimes maybe that's better than even a blind donor or closed adoption?

    At the same time, this whole process makes me sick :-(

    And NO... I will never use a Starbucks bathroom ever again.


  3. WOW!! I never had any idea this was going on. Sperm donation, sure. But Starbucks bathrooms? The back of the couple's SUV?! What the?!

    I'll need to process this a bit before I can form coherent answers to the excellent questions you pose! ;)

    BTW, new reader here, found you through LisaAnne. Fellow adoptive mom. Nice to "meet" you!


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