Saturday, July 14, 2012

50 Shades of Magic Mike

I wrote a LOOOOOONG post that addresses something that's been weighing heavily on my mind for a few weeks now... I'm not sure where this new post will take me but I know I won't rest easy until it's done.

50 Shades and Magic Mike.

There. I said it.  They're on my mind.

Since I've decided not to publish my LOOOOOOONG post, I'll quickly summarize;

* I addressed "Mommy Porn"
* I listed tons of Bible verses
* I mentioned my friends who are Christian women, wives, and mommies
* I talked about BDSM (I hope many of you don't know what that is...)
* I talked about 'Magic Joey' ;-)
* I talked about how demoralized women are in these works and how we don't even realize it
* I emphasized a million times how I refuse to judge anyone who chooses to read the book or see the movie
* I said over and over how every word I wrote was my own and how they didn't have to be everyone else's, too
* I talked about the justifications I've seen/heard lately from said Christian women;

"There's a deeper story of love and relationships that has nothing to do with BDSM or abuse or control."

"They can't be all that bad because they are getting so much press.... strip clubs and porn don't get press because they are shameful and should be kept a secret."

"Book II of Shades is such a great love story."

"Reading Shades put me 'in the mood', made me want my husband, and brought back my sex drive!"

You get the point.

I'm not posting that post.

I'm not interested in getting into arguments over Scripture vs. Today's World and how different it is from Bible times, or how unfair it is that men are pushed to get counseling for porn addiction and women get off scott-free or...

You get the point.

I'm not posting that post.

I don't care to know what that book did for your sex drive. I really don't want anyone to feel judged by my thoughts and feelings. I do want to be clear that while I don't condone Christian women, especially reading and spreading around a book or movie like those, that you reading / seeing it in no way changes the way I look at you.

I'm not posting that post....

Because when it's all said and done. When the arguments reach a dead-end. When we all just have to agree to disagree. When feelings are hurt and people feel judged....

I just can't stop thinking about my baby-girl.

My daughter.

The daughter of mine who will one day soon see a boy and think he's kinda cute.

The daughter of mine who will, in the blink of an eye, be dressing up for her first date with that cute boy.

The daughter of mine who will inevitably share my passion for reading.

The daughter of mine who will one day not too far from now, be asking me to help her with her veil.

The daughter that my husband will one day walk down the aisle.

The daughter that will one day marry that cute boy.

And the daughter who one day soon, I will, against everything in me, have to release into that cute boy's protective, loving, compassionate, and passionate arms.

I pray every day that he is protective, loving, compassionate, and passionate.

Towards her. For her.

I read about half of 50 Shades before I deleted it, so please don't think that I am judging without knowing.... I know. I read, too.  I am also the first one to admit that I love a good romance novel once in a while! But some of the scenes in that book will forever be engraved in my mind.

And I wish they weren't.

You can't undo what you read or see.

When I think of my daughter, my precious baby-girl, one day reading that book I cringe. It terrifies me to think that our society TODAY is accepting.... no, BEGGING for a book like that. What is society going to deem as 'appropriate' when she's a teenager, in college, dating, or a mommy?

I just don't see how it could get any worse.

I don't want that cute boy to know the awful things that are in that book. I don't want him to get any ideas or think that those things are acceptable or normal in any relationship. And especially in a relationship with my daughter.

And you know what else?

I don't want my daughter to look through my Kindle or stack of DVD's one day and know that her mommy owns them.

Because then that makes them ok for her.

Today, in this moment, I am the epitome of everything a woman should be in the eyes of my daughter. My own mom is still that in my eyes and I can only hope that I will continue to be in Hannah's when she is grown, married, and has kids of her own.

What kind of woman would I be today if 50 Shades and Magic Mike were household names when I was growing up? If Grey sat on my mom's nightstand or by the bathtub?

If that was my childhood, I bet you know what kind of books and movies I'd be watching as a teenager.....

I could go on and on ..... but I'm not posting that post.

Maybe every one of you reading this post now thinks I'm a complete prude... or maybe I've ticked a couple people off.... maybe this is all just a little too dramatic.... maybe I am officially the least cool person you know....

Bible verses aside (and there are HUNDREDS of them.... I've done my research!), all things 'God' aside, porn aside, judgements aside....

My own personal reasons for not finishing 50 Shades and for not joining my girlfriends on Magic Mike girl's night are numerous, and they're my own.... they in no way have to be your's, too.

But the only one I can't justify or move past is my daughter... her purity and innocence.

And I have trouble getting past one more point...

I'm a daughter, too.