Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Go to Hell. There's No Room for You Here...

Like my title?
Rough day.
I learn lessons every single day from our son. I learn them from Hannah, too.
Hunter has rocked my world.... he challenges me, makes me explore myself, pushes my limits, strengthens my faith, and never fails to make me smile.
In the 7 months since meeting Hunter, 'bad days' have a new meaning to me. No longer does flat hair, a broken nail, a stubbed toe, a sore throat, a dead battery, or getting up 30 minutes late cause me to pause. I don't have time, #1. #2, those things take a back seat (as in, the back of a full-size bus, seat) to the 'what if's' and 'maybe's' that 'could' creep up at a moments notice.
I imagine this is true for the parent of any preemie or special needs child.
And we've had some truly bad days.
BUT, our kids are home safe and sound with us tonight.... unlike the 16 year old girl who went missing just 2 miles away from us on Sunday night :-(
Our kids are HOME.... and not in critical condition or living out their last few days in the hospital or on hospice :-(
Our family is whole and not divided by distance, emotion, or circumstance.
So a 'bad day' isn't really all that bad.
Today wasn't all that bad. Actually, nothing about today was bad... it was a great day!
Still, some days are rough. Not bad. Just rough. Emotionally, physically, mentally and any other 'ally there is.
So today was a rough day.
We realize that we haven't given you a clear picture of who Hunter is today.... of his health or his growth and development. It's coming, I promise. There's more to Hunter's story we feel that we need to share before we can introduce you to the Hunter we know today.
For now, tonight, the lessons I've learned today have left me exhausted... physically, emotionally, mentally.... and a few more 'ally's. 
Hunter had 3 doctor's appointments today. If you know any detail at all of the past 7 months of our lives (if you don't, you soon will), you know that 3 appointments in one day is NOTHING. I know this. I haven't missed one of them.

As hard as I try to stay positive and think only of the MANY miracles God has done in our son's life... in our lives.... there are still days when Satan manages to push past every miracle and every ounce of strength I have left. He gets in.
I let him get in.
Because some days I'm just tired. Because my cup of strength and optimism and faith is nearing 'empty'.
It's no one's fault but my own. I know this, too.
Our 3 appointments today were great appointments.... Hunter IS growing and progressing and his doctor's continue to be amazed at is strength and will to fight.... to win.
But there are still things he's fighting. And if you're a parent, there's nothing in this world that is harder than to watch your child fight... a bad habit, an illness, another person, being sick, exhaustion, their past, their future. It is what I only know to be, so far, the hardest part of being a parent.
The only things I can control on a daily basis in our 'new normal' are how often I hug my kids, how many times I pray for them, my attitude when talking to 'difficult' doctors or nurses or receptionists or insurance companies, and what memories of the day I choose to take to bed with me....
And what 'what if's' or 'could be's' or 'maybe's' I tell to 'go to Hell'. Literally. There's no room for those here.
Satan always seems to work his way in.... to our marriage, finances, families, promotions, and doctor's appointments that are full of good news. He gets in.
We let him in.
Today was a good day..... it had rough parts....
It contained elements of worry and doubt and fear and de ja vue but it ended with bath-time, pizza delivery, funny jokes from Hannah, and books at bedtime... and a milestone we will never forget.
It was a good day.
What?! You want to know about today's forever-memorable milestone?
I thought you'd never ask... ;-)
Make sure you've read about Miracle #3; the day Hunter stopped breathing....
And  then I'll let the picture do all of the explaining...
Today, Hunter graduated from the Infant Apnea Program!
Translation; By all medical terms and definitions, Hunter no longer has Apnea! He has learned how to remember to breathe.
Today is a HUGE day for him... and, as you can see, he's quite proud of himself ;-)
So.... Today was a good day... a rough one.... but a good one...
Those rough parts?
They can just go to Hell.
Joey and I want to thank every single one of you who have shared Hunter's story.... on Facebook, Twitter, by email, or by word of mouth. His story is greatly impacting people's lives and God's Kingdom. Seeing your 'shares', 'likes', 'tweets' and reading your emails and comments really do keep us going and wanting to continue sharing his story....
For God's glory alone is why we share like we do.
Please keep sharing and tweeting and commenting and liking.... you never know who needs a little 'miracle' in their life tonight...
After all, who out of all of us doesn't need a miracle?!
What was your 'what if' or 'maybe' or 'could be' today?
Tell it to go to Hell.
God's got this. He's got us. He's got YOU.

And when you think about it.... today really was a good day!
Thank you, friends. We wouldn't be where we are without your support, prayer, and 'shares'!


  1. I just have to say, you inspire me, and I think of you or your family almost every day. Why? I am an adult adoptee, and we are beginning our own journey (had our home study done yesterday!) to adopt a child of our own. I have no idea what the future will be, but I have faith in God (and a four year old that prays every night for "baby brothers and sisters") that we will be blessed with the right child at the right time.

  2. Seriously?! I haven't seen a recent picture of him and he's so handsome! Does this mean that you had to give back his apnea monitor? I can't imagine how that myst feel for you. I'm anxious to read the rest of miracle 4, too!

    ~ Kim

  3. Yay Hunter! Every little step forward is a beautiful step in life. We have adopted a special needs child as well. One they said was blind, would never walk, talk or function on his own. He broke us in every way helping him to battle forward, but now 18 months later he can see perfectly, he walks and he talks. God is good!

  4. The stories of Hunter's miracles never cease to amaze and inspire me. What an amazing little man you have! Thank you so much for continuing to share him with us. Yesterday was a day when we in "our" area (I know you live here too) had some bad news...the missing girl and a little baby that you might know about from your time in the children's hospital who both went to be with God. Your story was a good reminder that we have so much to be thankful for!


We love to hear your thoughts, but if you leave one please own it and leave a name with your comment :-)