Thursday, January 16, 2014

When routine doesn't feel so routine...

Hunter is scheduled to have his 3rd sedated hearing test tomorrow morning.
It's just a routine test.. but they never feel 'routine' to the Mama.

Hunter's has had his hearing aids since May (if you haven't seen his video... WATCH IT!)  and tomorrow will be his first ABR since then.

An ABR (Auditory Brainstem Response) can be done in an Audiologists office... for the 'normal, quiet child who will sit still for 2 hours while electrodes and plugs are placed in and behind their ears'.

Have you ever had one of those?!

If so, I don't wanna hear about it.

Hunter is NOT that child.... thankfully!!

He's a wrestler... he's a yeller... he's easily distracted... he's BUSY! He does NOT sit still... or take a nap in my arms for 2 hours... or tolerate anything but his hearing aids being stuffed in his ears.

When this ABR was first mentioned it didn't take long for me to refuse the in-office ABR... I'd rather not put Hunter, the doctor, and myself through that inevitable h**l.

So... here we are. I hate the thought of sedating my baby... again. I know it's 'routine'... I know it's absolutely necessary... and I still hate it.

Forget not eating for 12 hours before ... forget how early I have to wake him up...  forget watching a nurse walk away with part of your life...

it's signing the papers, acknowledging the risk of death, and releasing anyone of responsibility... it's the hardest part.

'Routine' just doesn't feel so 'routine' when your pen hits that paper.

Hunter will be fine. I know this. How?

 He's a wrestler. He's a yeller. He's easily distracted.

He's here.

But Mama? The verses will rotate in my head and what I know will fight to stay at the forefront of my mind... but part of my heart will be missing for 2 hours until my baby is back in my arms.

It's not about me... please don't get me wrong.

But these things just don't get any easier... for any of us. And tomorrow, I'll be doing it alone... 'routine' doesn't accommodate work schedules as often as 'routine' happens around here... and big sister gets some one-on-one Daddy time tomorrow morning before school :-)

Once again, I'm going to ask you to pray for Hunter's test tomorrow... for his breathing to remain stable and his airways open (my biggest fear)... for him to go to sleep and wake up easily... for the nurse who will walk away from me with him... and for the technicians who will be in the room with him. Pray for his Daddy who will be fighting this distraction while he's in meetings all morning. Pray for his big sister... she's pretty clueless but she deserves a good day, too ;-) Pray that Hunter won't sense my anxiety but that his morning will be as calm and as 'routine' as possible.

At the end of the day, we'll know how well Hunter's hearing aids are helping him, if they're set at the right thresh-holds, and how we can proceed from here in helping him fill in the missing pieces of his hearing loss...

It'll be a good day... just a long one ;-)

I haven't posted an update for you lately on Hunter's progress and I think the video I captured today during speech therapy sums it up pretty well...

And everyone needs a little bit of Hunter's laughter in their lives ;-)

As Hunter gets used to new sounds and continues learning how to understand the new words he's hearing... as we work with his AMAZING therapist to teach him how to follow directions and put words with objects... once in a while, a word or phrase will tickle his ears... and the sound that comes from him is contagious... the best sound in the world!

Listening to this boy... who never should have lived, none-the-less crawled or walked or talked... listening to him understand words and find them funny... it's music to my ears.

A miracle every single time.

Did your day just get a little better?

He does that to people :-)

I'll post an update tomorrow... and probably a picture or two of our sleepy boy!


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