50 Shades of Magic Mike

I wrote a LOOOOOONG post that addresses something that's been weighing heavily on my mind for a few weeks now... I'm not sure where this new post will take me but I know I won't rest easy until it's done.

50 Shades and Magic Mike.

There. I said it.  They're on my mind.

Since I've decided not to publish my LOOOOOOONG post, I'll quickly summarize;

* I addressed "Mommy Porn"

* I listed tons of Bible verses

* I mentioned my friends who are Christian women, wives, and mommies

* I talked about BDSM (I hope many of you don't know what that is...)

* I talked about 'Magic Joey' ;-)
* I talked about how demoralized women are in these works and how we don't even realize it

* I emphasized a million times how I refuse to judge anyone who chooses to read the book or see the movie

* I said over and over how every word I wrote was my own and how they didn't have to be everyone else's, too

* I talked about the justifications I've seen/heard lately from said Christian women;

"There's a deeper story of love and relationships that has nothing to do with BDSM or abuse or control."

"They can't be all that bad because they are getting so much press.... strip clubs and porn don't get press because they are shameful and should be kept a secret."

"Book II of Shades is such a great love story."

"Reading Shades put me 'in the mood', made me want my husband, and brought back my sex drive!"

You get the point.

I'm not posting that post.

I'm not interested in getting into arguments over Scripture vs. Today's World and how different it is from Bible times, or how unfair it is that men are pushed to get counseling for porn addiction and women get off scott-free or...

You get the point.

I'm not posting that post.

I don't care to know what that book did for your sex drive. I really don't want anyone to feel judged by my thoughts and feelings. I do want to be clear that while I don't condone Christian women, especially reading and spreading around a book or movie like those, that you reading / seeing it in no way changes the way I look at you.

I'm not posting that post....

Because when it's all said and done. When the arguments reach a dead-end. When we all just have to agree to disagree. When feelings are hurt and people feel judged....

I just can't stop thinking about my baby-girl.

My daughter.

The daughter of mine who will one day soon see a boy and think he's kinda cute.

The daughter of mine who will, in the blink of an eye, be dressing up for her first date with that cute boy.

The daughter of mine who will inevitably share my passion for reading.

The daughter of mine who will one day not too far from now, be asking me to help her with her veil.

The daughter that my husband will one day walk down the aisle.

The daughter that will one day marry that cute boy.

And the daughter who one day soon, I will, against everything in me, have to release into that cute boy's protective, loving, compassionate, and passionate arms.

I pray every day that he is protective, loving, compassionate, and passionate.

Towards her. For her.

I read about half of 50 Shades before I deleted it, so please don't think that I am judging without knowing.... I know. I read, too.  I am also the first one to admit that I love a good romance novel once in a while! But some of the scenes in that book will forever be engraved in my mind.

And I wish they weren't.

You can't undo what you read or see.

When I think of my daughter, my precious baby-girl, one day reading that book I cringe. It terrifies me to think that our society TODAY is accepting.... no, BEGGING for a book like that. What is society going to deem as 'appropriate' when she's a teenager, in college, dating, or a mommy?

I just don't see how it could get any worse.

I don't want that cute boy to know the awful things that are in that book. I don't want him to get any ideas or think that those things are acceptable or normal in any relationship. And especially in a relationship with my daughter.

And you know what else?

I don't want my daughter to look through my Kindle or stack of DVD's one day and know that her mommy owns them.

Because then that makes them ok for her.

Today, in this moment, I am the epitome of everything a woman should be in the eyes of my daughter. My own mom is still that in my eyes and I can only hope that I will continue to be in Hannah's when she is grown, married, and has kids of her own.

What kind of woman would I be today if 50 Shades and Magic Mike were household names when I was growing up? If Grey sat on my mom's nightstand or by the bathtub?

If that was my childhood, I bet you know what kind of books and movies I'd be watching as a teenager.....

I could go on and on ..... but I'm not posting that post.

Maybe every one of you reading this post now thinks I'm a complete prude... or maybe I've ticked a couple people off.... maybe this is all just a little too dramatic.... maybe I am officially the least cool person you know....

Bible verses aside (and there are HUNDREDS of them.... I've done my research!), all things 'God' aside, porn aside, judgements aside....

My own personal reasons for not finishing 50 Shades and for not joining my girlfriends on Magic Mike girl's night are numerous, and they're my own.... they in no way have to be your's, too.

But the only one I can't justify or move past is my daughter... her purity and innocence.

And I have trouble getting past one more point...

I'm a daughter, too.

Doing 'Life'...

(Stick with me.. it's been a while and I may start one place and end another but I DO have a point.... promise ;-))


Have you ever met someone for the first time and after spending some time with them, you just get the feeling that they don't have room in their life for more friends? For you?

 I have. I think there's a strong possibility that we all have.... us women, that is. (Though from time to time, I've seen it happen to my husband, too).

It happened to me about 2 weeks ago and I have to be honest, it's bugged me ever since.

You're in a room with strong, successful, independent, accomplished women who have known each other for years and you.... well, you're the new one. You're the one who didn't quite get there in time to make the cut...

Ok. Ok... maybe I'm being dramatic but regardless of the situation, the feeling of being an 'outsider' or the 'odd man out' isn't a feeling that's easy to shake. Especially as a woman.

Female relationships have always been hard for me. Don't get me wrong, I've always had amazing girlfriends... namely my mom, my cousins, and a close childhood friend. I made a couple lifelong friends when we lived in Charlotte, and a couple more when we lived in Kansas; We talk regularly, we know when support is needed, and we trust each other with everything.

I've lost friends, too.

Yes, life happens. Yes, people grow apart. Yes, things change... people change.

Growing up, I didn't know how to 'do' long-term friendships. I had my family and those two life-long, pick up where you left off, grow old together friends and that was enough for me. It was ok with me as people came and went in my life and as I came and went in theirs as long as I had those women.

But I always noticed the cliques... the groups of girls, they always had a 'leader', who did everything together; sports, parties, girls' nights, trips.... everything. Did you know those girls? My high school was notorious for this (no offense, SHS).... it was small and everyone knew everyone and they knew each other since before they were born. They knew each other well and well, it was hard not to feel that they had all the friends they needed.

I never want to be the one, or be with the one's, who make someone feel like that. Like the one there isn't room for. I know I've done it, I'm sure I've done it... have you?

Do you have people that you can 'do life' with?

I had an amazing friend when we lived in Kansas.... there was no doubt in my mind that we were going to be lifelong friends. We were as opposite as two people can be, we were both as strong-headed as they come, we believed completely different things, voted in completely different parties.... and we were almost inseparable. Our husbands were close friends and our babies were BFF's.

 

Were.

Over time and distance, she and I drifted apart. I never wanted that to happen (I really doubt she did, either)... but it did.

Those things, those families, seem to be harder and harder to find.

 

 

I grew the most as a woman and as a friend during that year and a half that we had together. I left Kansas with life-long fiends, even though she and I aren't close anymore... there are others' :-). She challenged me to be better. She pushed me to try harder. She encouraged me to change myself for the better. She knew my insecurities and fears and she never made me feel ridiculous for them.... but she was going to make sure I overcame them.

But I'll never forget what she said to me one of the very first times we chatted while our babies played....

"I'm so glad I met you when I did because I was only one or two friends away from declining any more friendship applications. I have enough of them!"

I knew she was just being funny and I thought it was hilarious at the time...

At the time I was happy to have made it into her 'circle'.... I was happy to have been 'accepted' as her friend.

 

I wish 'life' hadn't happened in that friendship.

I know it's been a while since my last post; partly because we've had a lot of huge life changes and happenings, including moving (again!), weddings (yes, plural), and even a few adoption-related 'happenings'.... I guess 'life' has happened lately.



Can I be honest?



(Of course I can... it's MY blog ;-))



I don't think I always 'do life' well.



You see, I'm a 'tough girl'. Sure, there are times when I wear my heart on my sleeve but I am extremely selective in who I do that with. I've thought a lot about this part of me.... maybe it's a strength, maybe it's a weakness... maybe it depends on the week. My friend in Kansas... the one I lost.... she sparked in me the desire to know why I shield myself and my emotions from people who love me.



Is it fear of getting hurt? Fear of trusting? Pride? A control issue?



For me, it's the fear of being vulnerable.



Of being judged?



(Yes, friends.... I, Lindsay, owner and writer of this blog, is afraid to be vulnerable. HA!)



Let me clarify...



For me, it's the fear of being vulnerable FACE to FACE with someone whom I might see in the next day or two... or three... or four.... or.....ever.



The past few weeks have tested my ability to be vulnerable like never before. I've had to admit that sometimes life is too tough. I've had to acknowledge that, while i might look back on a week and see that it was good, my day-to-day is pretty tough. I've pushed myself to my limit and I've had no choice but to be transparent and I have struggled with feeling weak and like a failure and ungrateful and distracted and ... the list goes on.



Have you struggled with infertility? At ANY level?
Have you experienced any part of the adoption process?
Maybe you've gone through a divorce...
Maybe you were fired...
Or maybe you're sick...
Or...



Then you know what I'm talking about.



I have been challenged and pushed and stretched beyond what I ever thought I could handle and here's the thing...



I wouldn't change it for the world.



(You know the saying, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle?" I have news for you... HE DOES! And then he gives you the resources to figure it out ;-))



Those feelings don't mean that you're not happy. That you don't like your life. Not even close!


Is it hard? yes.
Do I want to quit sometimes? yes.
Have I handled myself poorly? yes.
Do I act more like a child sometimes than my own 3 year old? yes.



But out of it all, I have learned to be vulnerable.



In Real Life.



Face to face.



I've taken so much time lately rehashing certain parts of my life; friendships, marriage, infertility, adoption, job changes, moves, illness, family challenges and I can now see how God used every relationship and every circumstance and every tear and every sleepless night...



To get me to where I am today.



Yes. At times I feel stressed and stretched and challenged and overwhelmed and inadequate.



But I'm here. With the family I prayed so long for.



And there's no where else I'd rather be.



In fact... I would do all of it over again just to get here.... again.

 

 

I'm blessed.

 

 

(I hate it when people say that. FYI. What does it even MEAN when someone says, "have a blessed day?" Like it's YOUR choice! Ok ok... done with my little rant  ;-) )

 

 

 

In the past few weeks of feeling overwhelmed and inadequate and stressed and on the verge of who-knows-what, I have learned that I am loved. I have family who listens and who don't judge but who know how hard it is for me to be vulnerable and they encourage me to keep it up. I have AMAZING friends who know how hard it is for me to ask for help... so they don't ask; they just DO. I have everything I've ever wanted...

 

 

 

And so much more.

 

 

So a bad day? Or a bad week? Or even a bad year and a half of waiting for Baby Number 2 isn't really all that bad...

 

 

If it gets me to where I am.

 

 

Or if it gets me to where I'm going to BE.

 

 

When was the last time you were truly vulnerable? If you're like me and the thought alone makes you sick, just pick a place to start; email a friend, write in your journal, leave an anonymous comment here, call a friend or family member who isn't part of your daily life. Tell someone about your negative pregnancy test, or about how angry you are at your body, or how hurt you are by someone's disloyalty, or when someone asks you, "How are you doing?", TELL them! Sometimes it's ok to say, "I'm NOT ok."



And then when you're done, ask them the same. I promise they won't say, "I'm good!" ;-)
I've leaned that if I'm vulnerable with a friend/family member I truly trust, they each have a wealth of knowledge to offer me... and always at the perfect time! I have some smart friends ;-)




I've also learned so much lately about the power of transparency... it's not only healthy for YOU but it shows others' who you really are; chances are, they know the 'good' side of you pretty well... let them see the 'other' side. The side that needs people.

 

 

I had a serious conversation with myself today and I wondered what the Bible had to say about being vulnerable. One verse came to mind and to me, it sets the perfect example for us of how to be vulnerable....

 

 

"Jesus wept."

~ John 11:25

Miracles

Once in a while I'll get one word in my mind and I'll have trouble moving past it. Sometimes I know where it came from... a song, a verse, a conversation, etc... and sometimes I have no idea where it came from. More often than not and as the days pass, the 'why' will inevitably make itself clear.

I heard a song the other day that used to be one of my favorites... one of those songs that just sticks in your mind and makes  sense (or at least changes your perspective) no matter the situation you've found yourself in....

The song's not even about miracles but if you were to reverse each of those situations, you would consider them miracles. ..

It's like rain on your wedding day....

It's like a death row pardon two minutes too late...

It's the good advice you just didn't take.

I know what God says about miracles... HE'S the one who performed them. In fact, He's the ONLY one who has performed them.... in all of history!

Have you ever noticed that every time someone refers to a miracle, that miracle is somehow attached to God?

Always. No matter if someone believes in Him or not... because He's the ONLY "god" in History who is known to perform miracles.

Because He's the ONLY ONE who can.

Who has.

Who does.

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."

Job 9:10 NIV

It has made me sad lately that we only seem to give credit for *big* miracles... healing someone who has Cancer. Finding out that someone who was declared dead is now alive.

What about our elderly grandparents who are still alive to meet their great-grandchildren? How about this morning when you lost your keys and were sure you'd be late for work but they showed up in the fridge? And when your parent had been so sick that you were sure within a couple weeks you would know what it would be like to live your life without him/her? The car accident you witnessed on the way to work this morning that you weren't a part of but should have been if you hadn't left your keys in the fridge? The unexpected check that came in the mail when you had just been begging God to show you how you could pay your bills this month?

I don't know each of you (tho I wish I did!) but I think I can guarantee with 99% certainty that every one of you have experienced one or more of the above 'coincidences'.... 'happenings'.... 'strokes of luck'....

'miracles'.

Because they are.

Definition; A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is considered to be divine.

Divine.

I like that word.

I have spent the past couple weeks just observing... I've watched and listened. I've found that I am completely surrounded by miracles each and every day... many that I'm too busy to notice.

"Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles..."

1 Chronicles 16:12 NIV

I've made it a priority lately to take a second at the end of each day to reflect on the day's miracles, however small they may be.... finding my keys. Getting a full night's sleep. Having dinner planned and ready before 5pm. The great coupon that came in the mail precisely when I needed a new faucet for the kitchen sink.

And I've found that when you take a second to reflect on the small miracles, you'll end up even more grateful for the large ones....

My daughter. My period (something I NEVER imagined I'd be thankful for.... but without it, I wouldn't be a mom). My husband's job. My Daddy's job. Our savings account, however small it may be ;-).

My life.

When you get right down to the nitty-gritty you realize how complex and intricate our lives actually are.... and you become even more aware of the miracles that surround you every day.

Every. Single. Day.

"Every Good and Perfect Gift...

...Is From Above"

~ James 1:17

 

“I’m sorry, but your baby is not compatible with life.”

 

A phrase no mother or father should ever EVER have to hear. These words echoed in the minds of Aleisa and William for 99 days after they were given that devastating news during a ultrasound. Through prayer, reflection and endless amounts of support, Aleisa made the promise to her baby girl, “I will carry you.” Many would have “opted out” of their pregnancy like some doctors often suggest because with the diagnosis of Trisomy 18, if you are even blessed with life outside the womb, the quality is not there. Choosing life was the most admirable, inspirational, selfless and faith filled act Aleisa and William could have ever done. The emotional roller coaster she describes in her blog was often unbearable for me to even read. She openly discusses her raw emotions and it’s more than evident how her faith is the only reason she’s made it this far. I believe when she accepted this cross to bear, in her true testament of faith, she became a disciple in Christ. She’s exemplified such unconditional love that the pieces of God’s elaborate plan for them and Nora especially, are beginning to fall in place. Her selflessness has brought thousands together in a community of prayer, which is only a small part of the big things happening because of this sweet baby girl. Because she saw this as a blessing and NOT misfortune, look at the reward God gave them yesterday. Amazing.

 

We were in complete awe, as we witnessed a miracle right in front of our eyes. They prayed their way through the pain of the (likelihood) chance of stillbirth and pleaded with God to allow her life here on Earth. With immense fear, Aleisa pushed Nora out. She was peacefully alert, only having a little struggle in the beginning. As you watch in the slide show, Aleisa is praying with all her might for God to spare her baby. A sight that was so heart wrenching, everyone in the room was sobbing. None of us were in control. No one could bear her cross. No one could ease the pain of a mother knowing every.single.breath has the potential to be her baby’s last.

 

After a little oxygen help she let out music to her mama’s ears, a big healthy cry. Through the grace of God, her vitals became and remained stable and Nora continue to fight for her life just as she had the previous 9mths in the womb. Once she was back on mommy’s chest, the family poured in with great anticipation to see the breath taking site of a beautiful breathing Nora Rose. It was like nothing I have ever experienced. Love filled the room to the brim and slowly the panic and anxiety lingering in everyone’s heart was peacefully calmed by the sweet sighs and sounds of a fresh infant. She was passed around, kissed and embraced by all, myself included. After awhile, everyone crowded around as their friend from their church baptized her.

 

  They wanted me to photograph her with all the wonderful gifts they received, including a beyond precious dress and headband aunt Sarah made for her. She modeled so gracefully and didn’t mind the paparazzi in her face at all times. To follow along and watch Nora conquer each day, go to Aleisa’s blog. It seems as though the whole world is rooting for this beautiful baby.

 

This baby is changing lives.

(Copied from Beautiful Beginnings)

 

I wanted to be sure that you read this powerful story before you saw it unfold....

 

 

To watch Nora's birth in pictures, grab some tissues and click here....

 

 

~ I don't have to know you, sweet baby girl to know that there is an amazing plan for your life... I am so excited to watch your story unfold!

 

 

They're On Loan From Heaven.... and they're ours for just a while.

'Purpose' Can Be Plural....

I consider myself to be a pretty lucky girl. I know so many women who, at my age and at my 'phase' in life question their purpose;

Who am I outside of being a wife and a mommy? I've always wanted to be just a wife and mommy... I thought that would be enough; why do I feel guilty for wanting more? 

Don't get me wrong... I have asked myself those questions SO many times! I am so incredibly blessed to be living my dream... to be the main influence in my baby-girl's life, to be able to devote myself fully to my home and family, and to have the freedom I have on a daily basis to develop relationships and invest in my family. I KNOW I'm blessed and I hope and pray that I never take that for granted.

If you know me at all, you know that I am a deeply passionate person... almost to a fault. I take criticism to heart when it comes from someone I truly respect or admire (especially if you're my daddy ;-)). 'Disappointed' is a word that when directed at me, cuts me to my core. At the same time, when something is important to me I do it or discuss it with conviction and emotion.

 And sometimes, my passions just don't have direction... I feel lost and wandering, yet passionate; not such a  great combo :-/

~ I find myself wondering lately if my purpose is to teach, specifically special needs kids... they're one of my passions.

~ I wonder if I should be a crisis pregnancy counselor... those women are my passion.

~ I wonder if I should continue using my blog as a portal to try and reach women who are struggling through infertility and their adoption wait... those women are my passion, too.

~ I wonder if I should learn to be content with what I KNOW to be one of my purposes.... to be the best wife I can be to Joey and the best mommy I can be to Hannah.

And then I wonder if maybe my 'purpose' is plural... maybe there is a way that I can use each passion of mine to accomplish my purpose... or purposes.

When I read through my list of passions, I realize that they all have one thing in common...

People.

Developing relationships with people.

One thing I know is true.... my place monday-friday, from 8-5 is here. At my house. With my baby. And my dog. And my husband.

This is where my mind and heart have been for the past few months. I KNOW without a doubt that I am contributing to my family, to their futures, and to their growth. I still struggle sometimes with the desire to contribute financially and to find something that's 'me'. I also couldn't fight the desire to do something that my kids; that Hannah.... and that Joey and my family.... could be proud of. I wanted something that was mine.

I was stopped a few weeks ago in the WalMart parking lot by a stunning woman... that's the best word I have to describe her. She was stunning on the outside but you could talk to her for just a minute and know that she was equally as beautiful on the inside, too. She was a consultant for Mary Kay and wanted to do my makeup and be able to include me in her 'before and after' portfolio.

Yeah yeah... I thought the same thing; "What a line. You just want my money."

But... I didn't feel that from her. She was genuine.

She came over last week and did my makeup but more than that she got to know me. She invested in me and told me her story.... and her story included her testimony. She didn't ask me for an order but she introduced me to Mary Kay... to the philosophy that faith comes first, second comes family, and only last should you be able to fit in a career.

I've known Mary Kay for a long time and I've always loved her products... though, I love her new products even more! No one had ever taken the time to introduce me to her... to Mary Kay... to the family that works for her.

When she left, I couldn't shake the feeling that she had just summarized everything I had been praying about when it came to finding my purpose. Before she walked in my door, all I knew was that I love people, and building relationships, and sharing my family's story, and well, I could EASILY include makeup in my list of passions ;-)

Joey and I talked for a long time last weekend. I talked to my mom and to a few close friends. I prayed about it. I struggled with the 'stigma' and 'cliche' that I felt people put on a company like Mary Kay or Avon or Arbon. I made a list of my passions....

I am so excited to tell you that I am Mary Kay's newest Independent Beauty Consultant!

I'm so excited for this new chapter in my life... for this new purpose that seems to encompass ALL of my purposes, plural! Joey's excited. My family is excited.

I have a lot of work to do. Relationships are important to me and while it's true that I will be selling a product (one that I have fallen head over heels in LOVE with!), my main goal is to invest myself into other women. I have learned to be vulnerable on paper (or... on blogger), but it's time for me to challenge myself to be vulnerable in person.

My story as a woman and our story as a family is unique... and really, nothing has ever gone the way we 'planned'. What makes our story impactful is that we fought tooth and nail each step of the way to do things 'our way' only to be shown without a shadow of a doubt that God's plans are and always will be bigger and better than our own. THAT is my purpose right now.... to use our story and my passions to show other women that there's more; more than they hoped and dreamed.

And that it's ok to want more. And that sometimes 'purpose' can be plural.

Joey and I have agreed that 100% of my profit from my new purpose will be put in our Baby Smith #2 savings account. I love knowing this because if there is one thing right now that I am more passionate about than anything else, it is bringing home our next baby! I will do ANYTHING in my power to bring home my sweet baby and I already feel one step closer :-)

I will never use this blog to advertise my business or to pressure you to buy anything... THAT is not the purpose of this page. I do want you to know me and my family and this is our newest news.... obviously not the 'news' I'd LOVE to be sharing but it's news and it's big, all the same ;-)

I could use all the support I can get so if you use Mary Kay or would like to know more about her company (that is founded on faith!) or how to become a consultant, please browse around and let me know what I can do for you.... send you info, place an order of fabulous makeup for you, or answer questions.

If nothing else, your prayers would be appreciated! Anything new is scary and brings out insecurities and even more unknown than we already have.... prayer for success and focus would help me enough ;-)

And I'll leave you with a quote from my wonderful husband as we discussed my new journey...

"Well, make-up really is a beautiful thing!"

My new website; www.MaryKay.com/LindsaBeth

My Facebook page (where I'll post some awesome specials ;-)); www.Facebook.com/MKWithLindsay

A Week at the Gym

My mother-in-law sent this to me and I thought it was too good not to share..... 

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you.

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my husband purchased for me a week of personal training at the local health club.  Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 40+ years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

________________________________

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile.  Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around.

This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

________________________________

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it!  My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.  His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!  It's a whole new life for me.

_______________________________

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it.  I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.  Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster.  Why the crap would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?  Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.  He said some other senseless stuff too.

_______________________________

THURSDAY:

Jerkface was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.  I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom.  He sent some skinny witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.

_________________________________

FRIDAY:

I hate that moron Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor.  If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps.  I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

________________________________

SATURDAY:

Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today.  Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..

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SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and express thanks that this week is over.  I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.  I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

:-)

MFEO

I wore myself out blogging last week so I'm chilling out for a while  but I just had to share this video...

Bentley is our 4 year old Boxer/ Grey Hound mix that we rescued when Hannah was about 9 months old...and he is Hannah's absolute best friend. Bentley HATES it when Hannah's at school; he usually just sits in the front window watching for her all morning as if she's going to somehow come home at any moment.

Bentley was crying at the door all morning so I decided to take him with me to pick Hannah up.... and he was SO excited.....

(Obviously, I was in the middle of doing laundry... honestly, I've been working on it for the past 3 days ;-) AND... please excuse the color of my kitchen walls.... we're in a rental for a few months and I did not choose the turqoise; though, I probably would have if I knew my husband wouldn't kill me ;-))

Anyone know what 'MFEO' means?? PLEASE tell me someone know what it means!

Are You Pinning? Do You Pin?

** Disclaimer~ I will in no way be held responsible for any and all addictions that one may start as a result of this post... ;-) **

If you're not on Pinterest, you should be :-)

Pinterest, for me is a 'healthy addiction, a mindless hobby, a way to retreat and dream and learn how to be creative (because I'm not).

If you're new to Pinterest, here's a summary of what it is;

* A place where you create virtual cork boards

* You and your friends swap ideas;

~ Home decor

~ Nursery decor... everything baby!

~ Recipes (YUMMY one's!)

~ Fashion (haircuts, nails, shoes, etc)

~ Wedding/ party ideas

~ Do it yourself crafts

~ Photography ideas

~ MORE!

Pinterest is a member-only area to swap ideas (free, of course) so if you're not pinning and you're in need of a mindless,  creativity-building, and just plain fun addiction hobby ;-) email me at OnLoanFromHeaven@yahoo.com, send me your email address, and I'll send you an invite to pin with me!

URGENT~ Human Tissue

I woke up this morning, opened my cold Diet Coke, stepped outside to get the newspaper, and was greeted by this.....

A 15 pound box containing human tissue.

(Wow. Never thought I'd say that.)

We've had a crappy week and it's surprisingly fitting that it would end with human tissue on our front porch.

The best part?!?!

I called the company to tell them that their 'tissue' went to the wrong house, in the wrong city, in the wrong zip-code, and the customer service rep said,

"Would you please open the box and tell me what you see?"

And I said,

 "HA! Over my dead body!"

It's still there waiting to be picked up by UPS and it's driving me crazy. I open the door every 10 minutes to see if it's still there...

Yep. Still there.

It's been there for 10 hours now.... on dry ice. It was mailed yesterday afternoon.... how long does dry ice last?!?!

The ONLY thing I can think of that is WORSE than human tissue sitting on your front porch is RANCID HUMAN TISSUE sitting on your front porch!!!

Yep. Still there :-/

Meetups!

Have you heard of http://www.meetup.com/?

Meetup has been the best way for us to meet people (besides church, of course)! When you sign up on meetup.com, you create your profile and then, using your zipcode, search for groups to join. In our zip code, you can join book clubs, stay at home moms groups, singles groups, adoption groups, Bible studies... anything you can think of and if you can't find what you're looking for, it's easy to start a group.

Hannah and I have met so many wonderful people through our stay at home moms meetup group! We have met other adoptive families, people from our church that we hadn't met before, famlies that we now call close friends, and it keeps us busy every day of the week! Most groups have a small yearly fee (ours is only $10) that helps the organizers keep the site up and keep events on the calendar. Our group dues fund socials, pizza parties, moms nights out, etc. It truly was our saving grace when we moved to a new city and knew absolutely no one!

Anyway, I just thought I would pass on this great site to you... I hope you find a fun group!