Thursday, July 3, 2014

#4

We found ourselves in a fog after losing our precious #3...

traveling through the shock of finding ourselves pregnant after EIGHT years off birth control... 4 years of infertility testing/ medication/ treatments/ charting/ timing, 6 IUI's, 2 beautiful adoptions, and accepting... no... loving the perfect plan of building our family through adoption.

The loss of our #3 left us in a shock unlike any other... the questions we had about the future of our family grew exponentially... counseling... depression... helping our tender 30 year old hearts heal... and helping one precious 5 year old heart heal, too...

Our once-dreaded due-date came and brought with it so much joy... reminders that we aren't alone, that #3 will never be forgotten, that our pain is not just our own... 

We had cake to bring what we are sure was a Heavenly celebration for our #3 down to Earth...

and then...


Our smart girl gives us goosebumps when she does that... remember this? And this?

So I knew.... on our precious 3's *should be* due-date... that something big was coming...

and then...

exactly 12 days later...


Our 'next baby' sure will have a birthday THIS YEAR.


Jesus told her heart... and this year it will be.

Our hearts will always ache for our precious #3... time will never heal that wound... and #4 will never take his or her place in our hearts...

and fear still threatens to creep in daily...

but we will forever be grateful that His mercies are new every morning...

and for the new place He has created for our newest baby-love...

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23



** It sounds counter-intuitive, but this was a difficult announcement to make... because I know how painful these announcements were to read not too long ago. There's still so much I don't understand... HOW do people get pregnant in the first place?! It's not as simple as having sex... I promise... we tried that for 8 years. WHY are we able to get pregnant all of a sudden? People don't get MORE fertile as they get older! Not even our doctors understand this. If you're reading this and you're who I was not too long ago, please know how much I understand. Please know how much I DON'T understand! And please stick around to help me as I work through the fear, unknowns, and learn how to do this new part of life... while still knowing how *infertile* I really still am! 


11 comments:

  1. God bless you and your family Lindsay! This is so wonderful! As a fellow infertile I understand the total mystery.....God works in ways our human minds can't always understand....congratulations!!!!!

    So happy for you!!
    NELLA

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  2. This gave me goosebumps. SO happy for you all. This is going to be an excellent adventure!

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  3. God is so good. Enjoy every day of your pregnancy. I will be praying for your family. Congratulations.
    Jessica

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  4. God does work in mysterious ways. I was told 10 yes ago I would never be able to bare children because I had too many womanly health issues. Including a heart shaped uterus. Then a year after a failed marriages. I met my soulmate and about a month later poof! A miracle!! I didn't know I was even pregnant till I was 11 wks. We are expecting our son sept. 17th. And I can't express the feeling of happiness I have in my heart. 2 miracles. My baby and my soulmate. I do believe that god has a plan for all of us. And its when we least expect it.

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  5. Congrats to your family.

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  6. Our 4th baby is our angel baby. I'm holding our 5th, comfortably in my arms now - he's 8 weeks old. You're in for a difficult few months, and a few more after birth. But, I'm a firm believer that no matter what we are blessed. Best wishes!

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  7. Congrats!!! Congrats!!! Congrats!!! So happy to see and read this! Will be praying.

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  8. It's Gods way of thanking you for all your help and love. He says it's your time to be given something so rare and priceless you will know how special you are to Him.

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  9. Such an amazing story! It's so evident that God is leading and writing your story in every little way. It's so encouraging to read about and gives me renewed hope to always trust in Him. :)

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  10. Omgoodness. I'm beyond excited. I will be adding you to my prayer list and checking on you.

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