I'll warn you up front that this post will be full of really scary words!
Scary words like...
* Infertility
and
* Endometriosis
and
* Bowels
and
* Acupuncture
Told you. Are you ok?
(I'm pulling out all the stops for this one so if you're not ok with topics that may seem TMI, move on....)
;-)
When Joey and I started trying to get pregnant 58 months ago (bc people who live in the infertility world keep track of time just like Mommies do when their babies are little.... except our 'months' really never turn into years), I've got to be honest... we kinda saw the dreaded "I" word coming.
My mom and dad had trouble getting pregnant with me (I was a '1 month-off' miracle baby :-)) and then couldn't get pregnant again (THANK THE LORD!! This is why mom and dad adopted and why I have the 2 most amazing brothers a girl could ask for!). Mom's infertility issues were basically hormonal but as we all know, those stinkin hormones are stubborn and it can take years to find just the right (and always pretty simple) way of tweaking them so they all line up. Well, after years of trying, those stubborn hormones lined up and wah-la... here I am :-)
I always knew there was a chance I could have trouble getting pregnant just like my mom but in the end, my infertility issues are nothing like my mom's.
Go figure.
We saw our first RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) about 11 months into our first year of trying. We did the blood work (2 times a week for 4 weeks, at first), HSG (Hysterosalpingogram... 100% as scary as it sounds!), ultrasounds, sperm samples, cycle charting, temp-taking, and baby-dance timing. We did IUI... too many times to count. In July '08 we finally got our dreaded diagnosis.......
'Nothing' was wrong with us.
Awesome.
(FYI; in the world of infertility... this is NOT always a good thing!!!)
I wanted to take a pill, get a shot, and have something that could be fixed! What in the world is 'nothing'??
I love when I can look back at my life and remember times when I just KNOW that God was laughing at me! If it's true that you burn calories when you laugh, God must be pretty darn skinny.... I don't know about you but he laughs at me A LOT!
Wanna know why he was laughing?
Because 9 weeks later we brought home our baby-girl....
I know I've said this before but I'm so thankful that we didn't get pregnant.... I thank God every single day! There's really no way we could have created this perfect baby-girl... she needed different DNA... and our love.
So, even though I know why we didn't/haven't gotten pregnant ( we needed to bring our sweet girl home), it still leave us wondering what the heck is going on.... medically, I mean. Because we all know that there is a medical reason for infertility and God reason.
SO, Hannah was 4 months old and I started noticing how uncomfortable I was. My discomfort was mainly centered around my cycles but sometimes not... weird. I went back to my RE and described feeling 'full' and 'bloated' and 'crampy' more often than I remembered. Sometimes I had bowel issues, sometimes I didn't. My cycles were getting longer, my patience was getting shorter. Sometimes I would spend 2 days a month on the couch in pain, sometimes I would take some Midol and be ok.
We scheduled a Laporoscopy (yep, as scary as it sounds) to find the source of my discomfort.... an added bonus was that we might find some answers to the infertility piece, too even though we had our precious baby-girl.
Wanna know something? I asked our entire family and friends and small group to pray for my surgery.... but I didn't ask them to pray that they'd find nothing wrong. I asked them to pray that something would BE wrong! I wanted a diagnosis... BAD! Now we weren't messing with just not getting pregnant... mama was in pain (and we all know how that goes...)
We did the Laporoscopy and FINALLY had some answers...
I had Endometriosis!
YES!!! WOOHOO!!! HURRAY!!! Now gimme a shot, lemme take a pill, and let's DO THIS!
I went in for my post-op and as my doctor explained to us a little more about Endo, he also made something very very clear...
"Your Endometriosis is the source of your discomfort and I cleaned out as much as I could ... but ... there's always a 'but'... it's not bad enough that it's keeping you from getting pregnant. I still don't feel like I know why that is... medically."
(I loved having an RE who was a Christian. He really 'got it'... and knew how much of a miracle our baby was :-))
For those of you who aren't familiar with Endometriosis.... it's a condition in which the tissue that behaves like the cells lining the uterus (endometrium) grows in other areas of the body, causing pain, irregular bleeding, and possible infertility. The tissue growth (implant) typically occurs in the pelvic area, outside of the uterus, on the ovaries, bowel, rectum, bladder, and the delicate lining of the pelvis. However, the implants can occur in other areas of the body, too (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001913/)
Thanks, Doc. Now what?!
So, we went home. We enjoyed our baby-girl, and felt even MORE confirmed in God's plan to build our family through adoption. THIS plan is perfect for our family!
BUT.... there's always a 'but'.... what about the Endo? It's still there.
Here I am, 3 years later and my Endo sweetly reminds me almost every single day that it's still there.
Endo is 'fed' by Estrogen. And Estrogen is released by your body every month during your period. This means that every month, my Endo is growing and it will continue to until it all gets 'flushed out' by pregnancy and delivery (which we're not aiming for and at this point would take medical intervention and we're done with that), enter Menopause, or have a Hysterectomy (which I believe could be in my future).
This isn't quite the 'thing' I imagined growing inside me one day ;-)
Here's my most recent dilemma....
We aren't trying to get pregnant and have been told that from a medical perspective, IVF is our best shot at achieving pregnancy. We're not opposed to IVF for other people but know it's not the right choice for us... having that biological connection to our children has never been of utmost importance to us; tho at the same time, I completely understand why it is to many other people. Our family is growing through adoption and nothing will change that or the excitement we feel by being completely enveloped in God's plan for our family!
BUT... there's always a 'but'... what do I do about this Endo? I know it's not going to get better and at the same time, I don't want to go through another surgery, more meds, more doctors, etc.
I've been researching Acupuncture... and I really like what I read! I went to my first appointment last week and left feeling completely relaxed and rejuvenated and to be honest, I haven't felt so bloated this week!
Now, I've been completely (and disgustingly :-)) honest with you so please help me out! I'm being followed by my doctor, of course, and she and I have regular talks about managing my symptoms but I still always feel that opening a forum for these discussions with other women can help so so much...
Here's what I'd like to know...
Have you tried Acupuncture? What for? What kind of results, if any, have you noticed?
Do you have Endometriosis? Or maybe you have cysts or fibroids or something similar? What are your symptoms? What have you done to try and manage those symptoms? What's your future plan to manage them, if you have one?
I had a severe case of Endometriosis and Ovarian Cyst for at least 10 years that I know of. What worked best for me was the Lupron Shots. They are a temporary fix that will stop your periods and it stopped my pain almost instantly. The first time I did the shots it lasted for about a year. When I did the 2nd round 2 years ago it only lasted about 5 months. I ended up having to have a hysterectomy in October of 2011. Like you I've never had children and the likelyhood of that happening with the state that my uterus and ovaries where in was slim to none. After having the hysterectomy we found out that my Uterus was in such bad shape that had I gotten pregnant, then it would have ruptured while either pregnant or during labor. What was the worst thing in my life (and I'm not going to lie it still can be) turned out to be the best thing for me.
ReplyDeleteLike you I don't feel the need to necessarily have a child with my genes. I don't feel as if that is God's plan for me. Does it hurt anyless? Not really. I'm a woman and one of God's biggest purpose for us was to carry children and I can't do that. I catch myself often asking God why when a friend gets pregnant. I also feel though that each person is diffrent. I had heard about the acupunture being succesful in some cases but my body was just to far gone and had been put through too much medically for too long.
I hope you find relief and the answers you are looking for. You will be in my prayers :)
Jordan
I have severe endo and was able conceive after IVF. I am currently using the Mirena IUD (intrauterine device) to control my Endometriosis. I have no periods and little to no PMS. It will last for 5 years and I can have it replaced with a new one. Lindsay, this option may not work for you, but could be a resource for your readers...still praying for baby #2.
ReplyDeleteMary
I have terrible endometriosis. I have had 3 surgeries and have done 3 round of lurpron shots. My Dr. Says that outside of pregnancy, the shots... A continuous birth control with a low amount of estrogen is the best treatement, loestrinFe for example.
ReplyDeleteHope that helps!
It was suspected I had endometriosis while still in high school. (I am adopted, and one of the few things I knew about my birth mother was that she had endo & had a hysterectomy by the age of 35; there's a strong biological connection with endo. Ironically enough, endo is what prevented my Mom from having biological children!) By my freshman year of college, I was on birth control to control/slow down/stave off more endo. Fast forward 10 years to TTC... (Obviously) off birth control & endo quickly got worse. Had lap done 4/2010 to clear out endo. (Like you, I was thankful my prayers of "don't let there be nothing wrong" were answered - I thought this would be the quick fix we needed!) Kept TTC after lap, hoping that would be the answer. After 18 more months of TTC & pills, shots, and IUIs, (not to mention the excruciating periods that only made the emotional disappointment of each failed cycle that much more intense) we decided to not TTC or continue treatments, and I had a second lap 11/2011, this time to control the pain, not to assist my fertility. That and another surgery the day before my lap also diagnosed endo in my colon, which led to a colon resection 12/2011. After finally being as clear as I could be from endo, I plan to keep it that way as long as possible. I take a birth control pill every single day, and plan to do so with no end in sight - maybe even for the rest of my life just to make sure that nasty stuff doesn't come back!! Not sure how our story ends yet, but we are just beginning the whole process of adding to our family through adoption - and my endo is a distant thought!
ReplyDeleteIt was suspected I had endometriosis while still in high school. (I am adopted, and one of the few things I knew about my birth mother was that she had endo & had a hysterectomy by the age of 35; there's a strong biological connection with endo. Ironically enough, endo is what prevented my Mom from having biological children!) By my freshman year of college, I was on birth control to control/slow down/stave off more endo. Fast forward 10 years to TTC... (Obviously) off birth control & endo quickly got worse. Had lap done 4/2010 to clear out endo. (Like you, I was thankful my prayers of "don't let there be nothing wrong" were answered - I thought this would be the quick fix we needed!) Kept TTC after lap, hoping that would be the answer. After 18 more months of TTC & pills, shots, and IUIs, (not to mention the excruciating periods that only made the emotional disappointment of each failed cycle that much more intense) we decided to not TTC or continue treatments, and I had a second lap 11/2011, this time to control the pain, not to assist my fertility. That and another surgery the day before my lap also diagnosed endo in my colon, which led to a colon resection 12/2011. After finally being as clear as I could be from endo, I plan to keep it that way as long as possible. I take a birth control pill every single day, and plan to do so with no end in sight - maybe even for the rest of my life just to make sure that nasty stuff doesn't come back!! Not sure how our story ends yet, but we are just beginning the whole process of adding to our family through adoption - and my endo is a distant thought!
ReplyDelete