I love my acupuncturist... she's vocal about her love for Jesus and has a way of making you feel relaxed and calm in her presence. She's truly wonderful and I look forward to seeing her every week!
But (there's always a 'but')....
I go to Acupuncture as a way to manage my Endometriosis and had to give her a run-down of my medical history at my first appointment... I take EVERY opportunity I can get to tell people about Hannah and our journey in bringing her home (it's just my favorite story in the world... so far ;-)) so I took about 5 quick minutes to share it with her. We get lots of reactions, as most people do, to our adoption story and 99.9% of them are encouraging and enthusiastic... it IS a story of hope and miracles and answered prayer, after all and I'm positive that I portray it as such!
Jean's response was a first....
"I just hope that one day you're able to experience the deep love and bond that a mother can have for her biological child."
Oh. My. Goodness.
I stumbled my way through what I felt was more of a defense than an explanation... I was caught completely off-guard. What are you supposed to SAY to that?! If that was added to our list of What Not To Say, I'm sorry but I don't have any appropriate response....
I love my child more than I could ever imagine loving someone? She was hand chosen for us by God and the love and appreciation we have for her is unlike any other? I've never felt a desire for a biological connection to my child... I've just always desired to be a Mom?
I stumbled through a combination of those and probably many more but ultimately, I ended with this;
"How many children do you have?"
"Oh, I don't have any kids... it was just never in my plan."
That comment just made ME bristle!ReplyDelete
But it all makes sense since she has no children.
A lot of people think that adoption is a last resort, and that makes it second best. For some folks, it takes someone with bio AND adopted kids to convince them that the love for each is no different....it doesn't mean as much coming from those of us who only have adopted children. So, Cheryl, there is your mission....educate the uneducated, disbelieving crowd! :o)ReplyDelete
Oh.my.goodness. I just read this post out loud to Shane and his response was..."What in the world is wrong with people?" Seriously, I cannot believe she said that to you! When it comes to adoption, some people are still so ignorant and uneducated about the topic! It amazes me!!ReplyDelete
Oh my goodness!!! People really just need to think! I was blessed to have a biological child 20 years ago this October. I love her with everything that I am.ReplyDelete
Seventeen years later I was blessed again to adopt my baby boy who is now 2 1/2 and blown away with another adoption last December of a little girl Lilly.
I can tell you first hand that my love for the one who grew in my belly and the two that grew in my heart is the same. They are all three my babies. God knew before I was even born that they would all be my babies and I believe that all three where made to be my babies.