I consider myself to be a pretty lucky girl. I know so many women who, at my age and at my 'phase' in life question their purpose;
Who am I outside of being a wife and a mommy? I've always wanted to be just a wife and mommy... I thought that would be enough; why do I feel guilty for wanting more?
Don't get me wrong... I have asked myself those questions SO many times! I am so incredibly blessed to be living my dream... to be the main influence in my baby-girl's life, to be able to devote myself fully to my home and family, and to have the freedom I have on a daily basis to develop relationships and invest in my family. I KNOW I'm blessed and I hope and pray that I never take that for granted.
If you know me at all, you know that I am a deeply passionate person... almost to a fault. I take criticism to heart when it comes from someone I truly respect or admire (especially if you're my daddy ;-)). 'Disappointed' is a word that when directed at me, cuts me to my core. At the same time, when something is important to me I do it or discuss it with conviction and emotion.
And sometimes, my passions just don't have direction... I feel lost and wandering, yet passionate; not such a great combo :-/
~ I find myself wondering lately if my purpose is to teach, specifically special needs kids... they're one of my passions.
~ I wonder if I should be a crisis pregnancy counselor... those women are my passion.
~ I wonder if I should continue using my blog as a portal to try and reach women who are struggling through infertility and their adoption wait... those women are my passion, too.
~ I wonder if I should learn to be content with what I KNOW to be one of my purposes.... to be the best wife I can be to Joey and the best mommy I can be to Hannah.
And then I wonder if maybe my 'purpose' is plural... maybe there is a way that I can use each passion of mine to accomplish my purpose... or purposes.
When I read through my list of passions, I realize that they all have one thing in common...
Developing relationships with people.
One thing I know is true.... my place monday-friday, from 8-5 is here. At my house. With my baby. And my dog. And my husband.
This is where my mind and heart have been for the past few months. I KNOW without a doubt that I am contributing to my family, to their futures, and to their growth. I still struggle sometimes with the desire to contribute financially and to find something that's 'me'. I also couldn't fight the desire to do something that my kids; that Hannah.... and that Joey and my family.... could be proud of. I wanted something that was mine.
I was stopped a few weeks ago in the WalMart parking lot by a stunning woman... that's the best word I have to describe her. She was stunning on the outside but you could talk to her for just a minute and know that she was equally as beautiful on the inside, too. She was a consultant for Mary Kay and wanted to do my makeup and be able to include me in her 'before and after' portfolio.
Yeah yeah... I thought the same thing; "What a line. You just want my money."
But... I didn't feel that from her. She was genuine.
She came over last week and did my makeup but more than that she got to know me. She invested in me and told me her story.... and her story included her testimony. She didn't ask me for an order but she introduced me to Mary Kay... to the philosophy that faith comes first, second comes family, and only last should you be able to fit in a career.
I've known Mary Kay for a long time and I've always loved her products... though, I love her new products even more! No one had ever taken the time to introduce me to her... to Mary Kay... to the family that works for her.
When she left, I couldn't shake the feeling that she had just summarized everything I had been praying about when it came to finding my purpose. Before she walked in my door, all I knew was that I love people, and building relationships, and sharing my family's story, and well, I could EASILY include makeup in my list of passions ;-)
Joey and I talked for a long time last weekend. I talked to my mom and to a few close friends. I prayed about it. I struggled with the 'stigma' and 'cliche' that I felt people put on a company like Mary Kay or Avon or Arbon. I made a list of my passions....
I am so excited to tell you that I am Mary Kay's newest Independent Beauty Consultant!
I'm so excited for this new chapter in my life... for this new purpose that seems to encompass ALL of my purposes, plural! Joey's excited. My family is excited.
I have a lot of work to do. Relationships are important to me and while it's true that I will be selling a product (one that I have fallen head over heels in LOVE with!), my main goal is to invest myself into other women. I have learned to be vulnerable on paper (or... on blogger), but it's time for me to challenge myself to be vulnerable in person.
My story as a woman and our story as a family is unique... and really, nothing has ever gone the way we 'planned'. What makes our story impactful is that we fought tooth and nail each step of the way to do things 'our way' only to be shown without a shadow of a doubt that God's plans are and always will be bigger and better than our own. THAT is my purpose right now.... to use our story and my passions to show other women that there's more; more than they hoped and dreamed.
And that it's ok to want more. And that sometimes 'purpose' can be plural.
Joey and I have agreed that 100% of my profit from my new purpose will be put in our Baby Smith #2 savings account. I love knowing this because if there is one thing right now that I am more passionate about than anything else, it is bringing home our next baby! I will do ANYTHING in my power to bring home my sweet baby and I already feel one step closer :-)
I will never use this blog to advertise my business or to pressure you to buy anything... THAT is not the purpose of this page. I do want you to know me and my family and this is our newest news.... obviously not the 'news' I'd LOVE to be sharing but it's news and it's big, all the same ;-)
I could use all the support I can get so if you use Mary Kay or would like to know more about her company (that is founded on faith!) or how to become a consultant, please browse around and let me know what I can do for you.... send you info, place an order of fabulous makeup for you, or answer questions.
If nothing else, your prayers would be appreciated! Anything new is scary and brings out insecurities and even more unknown than we already have.... prayer for success and focus would help me enough ;-)
And I'll leave you with a quote from my wonderful husband as we discussed my new journey...
"Well, make-up really is a beautiful thing!"
My new website; www.MaryKay.com/LindsaBeth
My Facebook page (where I'll post some awesome specials ;-)); www.Facebook.com/MKWithLindsay